Sunday, January 12, 2014

Officially Waiting

When we were first starting this adoption process, I wanted to read the blogs of moms and dads who had been through this before and get a feel for their experiences as we embarked on our own. However, it was hard to find a blog where they shared their experiences during the wait. As we now wait, I realize that there just isn't much to tell...

This week though, there is an update. We received word that after almost a year of signing, approving, notarizing and apostiling papers, we are finally REGISTERED!

So...what does this mean? After approval from the state and federal government, our paperwork was sent to Bulgaria, the country from which we are trying to adopt. They looked over our papers and approved us for adoption, thereby registering us in their database. We are now one of the many families that could be selected as they place children. According to our adoption agency, the current wait from the point of registration is 1.5 to 2 years.

When our contact from the agency called on Thursday she said "You are now officially WAITING."

Really? I felt like we were already doing that!

Wednesday was a really hard day. The students seemed especially needy after 3 days of late starts and less structure than they require. I had been trying for forever a few days to get in touch with the adoption agency to see if we had been registered yet, as we had sent in our last piece of paperwork at the beginning of December. All of this brought about the frustration of an impatient heart. As I drove home from small group that night, I received a timely text from a consistent friend that let me know she was praying for me and had attached a blog she thought I should read.

When I got home, I sat down at the dining room table and read the entirety of the blog, each line resulting in more ugly tears and even ugly laughter...a mixture that few people other than Jen Hatmaker can produce. Adam walked in to find me a mess. After reading the blog himself while I blew my nose and cleared my throat, we asked the questions that you don't want to say aloud: "Can we do this? Are we crazy? For our FIRST? What are we thinking?" Not so quickly, but eventually, came the calm assurance..."No YOU can't but I CAN." The One who has blessed us with every spiritual gift, the One who will never leave us nor forsake us, the One who has conquered the grave, this God can, through us, love this little girl who hasn't had enough love. He can heal her broken heart, and He can give us the strength and patience to parent her well.

After all that, the words "You are officially WAITING" seemed filled with grace. We aren't ready just yet! So, as we enter the official wait, we continue to ask for your prayers, that we would trust His timing, His provision, and His purpose and be open-hearted to learning to lean on Him more and more as He prepares our hearts to lead the heart of another.